Don't read the following E-mail message. No really, don't do it! Nothing to see here, nothing at all...
CASE 1: Ginny Richmond wanted desperately for her boyfriend of eight years, Adam Newhall, to finally propose. Then, one amazing night, he did! She gladly accepted and went home on cloud nine. When she got to her computer later that evening, she noticed that an E-mail from someone who she didn’t know had made it through her spam filter. On a lark, she decided to read it instead of deleting it. That was a BIG MISTAKE! It was this very letter, and she realized with HORROR that somehow she was reading about her life in this chain letter. Just then, she received a call from the time traveler who wrote this letter. He told her that she was going to die! DISTRAUGHT, she started to cry. Then he said that SHE DIED in her sleep when she was ninety-seven years old. In a shimmering haze, he then disappeared back into the future. She realized with DEEP SADNESS that THE FUTURE WAS DOOMED to be full of time-traveling jerks who thought it was funny to ruin people’s good moods.
CASE 2: Tyra Kilmer received this very letter and, following its instructions, she deleted it immediately without reading it. However, she failed to purge it from her junk mail box, and it sat on her computer for years. Two days later, Tyra went to the store to buy some milk. She dropped the milk and it was ALL OVER. She spent the next ten minutes cleaning up the minor DISASTER. In those ten minutes, SHE MISSED A VITAL PHONE CALL. She had to call them back a few minutes later. Eventually, when her computer got really old, she finally destroyed this letter when she PURGED ALL HER FILES before sending it off to a recycling center where HER COMPUTER WAS DESTROYED.
CASE 3: Lenny Eastman never read this letter and IMMEDIATELY purged it from his computer. He even TOLD ALL OF HIS FRIENDS to do the same thing. Two hours later he was walking down the street and found FREE MONEY. He went into the local drugstore used it all up to buy what turned out to be a single WINNING LOTTERY TICKET. He used all of his winnings to buy himself a NEW CAR magazine, a NEW HOUSE key, and enough Bazooka bubble gum that he was SET FOR LIFE. Six hours later, he MET THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS, Irene Neilson, and they began to date seriously. THEY ARE NOW MARRIED to other people, but they had a really good time together, perusing through his new magazine, using his new key, and chewing his Bazooka gum. They both have kids and read stories that end with THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
You must delete this letter with 1 hour of reading it, or better yet, you didn’t read this at all and deleted it immediately and even removed it from your trash files. You must also tell 10 different people to not read this. If you do this, you will have incredibly WONDERFUL, AMAZINGLY STUPENDOUS LUCK in imagining a life FULL OF LOVE and TONS OF MONEY. Fulfilling your imagination will, of course, require that you didn’t spend your time reading this letter when you should have been going out and getting a fabulous job and wooing the love of your life. Otherwise, if you read this, you’ll have wasted precious minutes of your life and might miss a train or fail to think of something brilliant that makes the world a better place. For anyone who thinks that THIS IS NOT A JOKE, then you weren’t paying much attention! If you’ve made it this far, you’ve read the cases, seen the warnings, and know the consequences. I’m sorry, but you’ve blown it. You’ve read this all the way through, and there isn’t even a really cool punchline at the end to make it all worthwhile. Although, I’m very, very sorry, it isn’t as if I didn’t warn you!
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